You’re at a party. You see a cute guy across the room. He approaches you. There is instant chemistry. Before you know it, he’s telling you that his roommate went home for the weekend and he’s asking you to spend the night with him.
A majority of you may have already fallen for his impeccably bright smile and said, “Yes!” Others may have said, “It’s getting late, why don’t you call me?” And a few may have said, “Freak!” and walked away.
Without ruining your night out, it’s important to realize the pros and cons of each situation. Saying yes might guarantee you a night of fun, but also a much-dreaded morning wake-up call. On the other hand, saying no might give you a stand-offish reputation, but at least guarantee that you’ll be safe (and you get to hang out with all the other cute guys at the party).
Regardless of your reaction to the situation, there are ways to avoid the whole scenario altogether. Welcome to my college dating life.
I have learned that my style of dating may be different from those of other college students. Although I am secretly jealous of girls who have enough time to go out and party every weekend, my Friday night study sessions have saved me from so many heartbreaks. As one who falls in love very easily, I know that I wouldn’t be able to handle meeting a guy, sharing a connection and then never talking to him again. I also don’t want to find myself getting caught up in the moment and making a decision I’ll later regret.
Instead, I tend to stray away from these party animals and try talking to the cutie in my statistics class, or the down-to-earth guy in my student club. If you’re like me and are searching for a stable relationship, trust me, you’ll be better off avoiding the party scene. So where else can you meet people? Try going to the library, a local coffee shop, a low-key concert or maybe a school game event. Also consider what your interests are. Participating in activities and events that are enjoyable and important to you will ultimately lead you to someone who shares similar values. The most important thing to keep in mind is that there is someone out there, but you have to make sure you’re looking in the right places.
Let’s face it, most guys you meet at these parties aren’t the long-term type. You might be a hopeless romantic like me—hoping to meet your soul mate at the most unexpected moment and have him sweep you off your feet. Although it is possible, it’s unlikely you’ll find him chugging down a cup at the beer pong table.
What has stimulated my outlook is that nowadays, and especially in college, a kiss tends to be just a kiss. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to actually know the name of the guy I’m kissing. Plus, guys that only want one-night stands usually don’t have intentions of being your friend, let alone being your boyfriend.
The reason college dating seems to be so different than high school dating is because college is seen as a time to let loose. It’s your first time living life without supervision, and you want epic stories to tell your best friends. Under these circumstances, being committed to just one person doesn’t seem ideal. People want to go out, meet as many people as possible, have insane fun while they’re at these parties and flirt the night away. The bottom line is this: People in college want to have fun—and for some, a serious relationship doesn’t scream fun.
For those who are not currently interested in having either a significant other or one-night encounters, you are not alone. Many of us are experiencing the freshman fun, while others are living up their last semester of midterms and finals. With that said, go have a good time and party it up. Just remember to be careful, because one day you might wake up and realize that you may not want to make that long walk back to your room alone.
Last modified: April 4, 2010