This article is part of Mochi’s fall 2024 issue on Resilience, redefined as “finding agency in adversity and fighting for radical change.” We highlight the strength of individuals and communities and their courage in dismantling systems of injustice. Our hope is that you will feel the strength pulsing through these stories and that you also are inspired to pair resilience with actions that lead to real, necessary, and revolutionary change.

Infamous Asian beauty trends are all over our Instagram and TikTok feeds, but beyond the personal color analysis, what is the internet really advertising to young Asian women? Step by step “glow up” tips and tricks can feel nearly impossible to achieve. Everyone deserves to feel confident in their skin, but these standards can have long-lasting consequences. Unrealistic expectations of our bodies, along with societal pressure, can negatively affect one’s self perception and image. 

Oftentimes, Asian women are criticized for not only their looks, but how they dress. When she’s “look-maxing,” Asian women are described as “trying too hard” — or if she’s simply running errands in a casual outfit, somehow she’s “letting herself go” or labeled as a “mess.”

Despite societal norms and pressures to dress modestly, not stand out, or draw attention to ourselves, Asian American women should be free to dress to impress. The clothing we wear as Asian American women can be empowering. It can symbolize who we are as individuals – as powerhouses. As such, we are seeing Asian American women redefining what it means to feel confident and beautiful through their fashion statements. 

Too Much For an Asian Girl 

Growing up as the only Asian girl in my high school in Northwest Indiana caused a lot of emotional turmoil and self-image issues. I was always told that I was too loud, too big, and too much for an Asian girl. People had an outdated perception of how an Asian girl should act — soft-spoken, agreeable, and polite, even in circumstances that required anything other than kindness. 

Others’ ideas of how I should dress and look wasn’t much of a different story either. People presumed my style should live up to their false media-curated concepts. I was told that I dressed “weird” or “odd” for an Asian girl, and I didn’t live up to their hyperfixations or minuscule knowledge of Asian culture. Where was my qipao and floral umbrella to block me from the sun?

I was compared to the international students from East Asia at my school. I was taller and larger in size, my skin tanned, my hair not as glossy, and my appearance not as well put-together. Whose standard was I trying to live up to? Why did anyone else’s expectations matter except my own? 

When I visited my family in Asia during my sophomore year, I was compared a lot to my older but smaller sister. I was about five inches taller than her, 30 pounds heavier, and younger by 11 years. Despite our significant age gaps, I couldn’t escape the body and appearance comparisons. I was told that I needed to dress “more girly.” My family told me that because my face was so much larger than my sister’s, I was the one who looked like the eldest sibling — as if bone structure had any implications for our birth order.

I was reassured that I was just going through an ugly phase — something I was not aware of until meeting these extended family members for the first time. Disappointed and shocked with this feedback about my appearance, I promised myself to never visit Asia again. 

Laura Kim from the San Francisco Bay Area says that her experience being Korean American heavily influenced her fashion and styling choices. 

Kim shares that she embraces all body shapes and sizes, despite the fact that some Asian standards of beauty can sometimes be unattainable in terms of dieting culture and ideal image. “Asian beauty and body standards are definitely not normal and shouldn’t be. I won’t say it’s unrealistic, though since all bodies are real bodies. However, people do get affected by these standards, myself included.”

“Sometimes Koreans can be critical about judging a person when they lose or gain weight. Seeing ‘skinny’ people on TV all the time — looking good in everything they wear — was something I became self-aware of,” Kim said. “That being said, it’s important to have a healthy mindset with this concept of beauty. If we don’t have a neutral and healthy mindset, our identity and how we treat ourselves changes negatively.” 

Fashion Trends and Fitting In 

So you want to dress like Jennie from Blackpink, and who doesn’t? It’s hard not to want to be chic, stylish, and match the image the Asian fashion and beauty industry is trying to sell you. 

I love Asian fashion and style. I like white maxi-skirts and sling bags just like everyone else on Instagram these days. It’s not basic to like popular trending items — it’s normal. Nowadays, people are even opting for the Uniqlo shoulder bag instead of the LuluLemon fanny pack. 

I truly believe that Asian beauty trends highlight Asian features and encourage us to embrace our natural characteristics, but this doesn’t mean I cannot see the ways in which the K-beauty industry can be harmful for people’s self-image.  

If you scroll online, you can find modern qipaos in various colors everywhere. Though some may argue that it is a form of cultural appropriation (or appreciation, in certain circles), this demonstrates how a traditional Chinese article of clothing has become heavily sexualized in the fashion industry, disregarding cultural significance and meaning to the dress itself. 

Society’s perception of Asian women are on two different ends of the spectrum. On one hand, Asian women are made out to be conservative, while on the other, they’re expected to be sexual fantasies and objects of desires for men. 

Asian women should be able to live up to their own standards and expectations. They should feel empowered to dress exactly how they decide to, even if it goes against cultural and societal norms. 

Kim described the need for her family’s approval before wearing any article of clothing, and how it has shaped her relationship with clothing today. Restrictions like the ones Kim grew up with are often passed down from generation to generation within our own families. We’re told to cover up in front of our male relatives, not wear revealing clothes, and to somewhat shelter our entire existence as human beings. 

We are raised with this generational idea and cultural mindset of not wanting to stand out or to be perceived as an outsider. In the effort to be understood and accepted, we choose our clothing and styling choices to display these values, and present an identity of wanting to assimilate or blend in with the people around us.

Asian women are taught to hide themselves both through their clothing choices and in life. Asian women are told to stay in the background, be silent supporters, and above all else: Do not draw attention to oneself. 

“Growing up, a lot of my clothes and style were determined by my mom. She was the one doing the shopping for me, or I always had to get my mom’s approval before buying anything,” Kim said. “She had pretty strict rules on what type of clothing I could buy and how I would wear them — I had to wear knee-length or full-length leggings under skirts and dresses (safety shorts weren’t enough), no revealing tops, no athletic leggings. 

“I always felt the need for validation and approval from my mom before buying certain pieces of clothing. College was the first time I was able to fully break a lot of rules. I wore regular leggings, tank tops, and more revealing clothes out in public.” 

Cultural Standards of Fashion 

In many parts of Asia, fashion culture plays a huge part in the country’s social atmosphere. Whether it’s at work in the office, or a night out in one of the country’s largest cities, many Asian women can be expected to dress a certain way to meet the standards of those around her. This concept can also apply to Asian Americans, as societal expectations may bleed into the combination of both our Asian and American identities. 

When it comes to Korean beauty standards, Kim explained that she had to learn how to minimize the influence it had on her. “I want to make sure my clothes are appropriate for different types of environments — dressing up and dressing down. I would definitely say my style is still casual and simple, nothing too bold,” Kim said. “I definitely have felt the stigma about how Asian women should dress and behave. I was always told to dress modestly and to not stand out too much. I have heard of friends traveling to Asia and getting stared at by locals because they stand out in terms of how they are dressed. Modern fashion in Korea can be described as classy and casual, as not a lot of outfits are revealing.”  

One change for the better is the normalization of Asian fashion being adapted to fit different standards involving sizing options and styles. Many Asian American women online are bringing awareness toward these topics as well, including content creator Fei Yang @heyitsfeii, who showcases her experiences with fashion and beauty as a Hmong American woman. Yang has uploaded various videos on her Youtube platform about trying on clothing from different Asian countries and brands, examining the style of the clothing items, as well as the fit. 

Yang also created her own fashion line, “Made By Fei – That’s Her,” with the mission to empower those of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. Yang’s videos and online content work to promote both body and fashion positivity to her audiences.

The deciding factors of what we should wear or how to dress as Asian women should be entirely our own to make. The clothing we choose to display on our bodies does not define us — we define it. 

Pushing past these unrealistic standards and expectations can be difficult, but nevertheless, Asian American women are inventing new definitions of beauty and reclaiming fashion choices to be true to their identity. Empowerment can look different for everyone, but the clothing we wear on our bodies to showcase our confidence can be the most powerful statement of them all. 

Cover: Illustration by Callie Ware