Face it—guys can be confusing. To find out what they really look for in girls, we went straight to the source and asked college guys across the nation for their thoughts. Here’s what they said.

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Courtesy Leila Francisco, Flickr.com

But for all you romantics out there, take heart: Having a serious relationship in college is possible. I never expected to be in a long-term relationship myself, and now I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years in college. While there’s no magical formula to making a relationship work, I’ve determined a few key elements that have kept my own relationship healthy for so long.

First of all, having a balance of common and different interests is very important. My boyfriend and I are both foodies, so on dates we always go out to eat in Koreatown or Little Tokyo. We’re also both geeks at heart, so we’ll enjoy catching a few episodes of Pawn Stars on the History Channel together on a weeknight. But we also have very different academic interests: My boyfriend is studying architecture and I’m a business major. Yet this actually helps our relationship because we tend to look at things from varying perspectives, which often results in interesting and lively conversations.

College life can get pretty hectic, so time management is key. As sophomore and junior year rolled around and classes got more demanding, it quickly became difficult for my boyfriend and I to find quality time for each other. Our busy schedules contributed to some of the worst rough patches in our relationship. But once we realized how much we cared about and respected each other, we decided to make a stronger commitment to finding that time, especially by doing something new once in awhile, like an impromptu scenic drive.

Spontaneity is another factor that keeps a relationship strong. One year, we randomly decided to take a trip to Disneyland before our final exams because we were sick of studying and needed a breather. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made— we had a blast and it strengthened our relationship.

Lastly, trust is an ultimate necessity to a strong relationship—not only in college, but at any point in your life. With weekly parties and other fish in the sea, it can be tempting to get distracted. Trust is something that develops with time, through actions like being consistently affectionate, considerate and loyal, or perhaps making an outright commitment from the get-go that you are exclusive.

Ultimately, a relationship is a very strong commitment that you make to another person—and if you don’t think that’s right for your current life, there’s nothing wrong with being single, having casual relationships or just taking the time to figure out what you really want in a significant other.

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We’ll be honest here. Sex can be fun, exciting, pleasurable—and an important part of life. After all, sex plays a part in both your physical and emotional health and is perfectly normal to think about. But sex can also be overwhelming or confusing, and it does have big practical implications like pregnancy and STIs. Whether you’re thinking about having sex or are already doing it, Mochi brings you the facts and resources you need to help you navigate your experience, stay healthy and take care of your body.

Mochi’s guide to safe—well, let’s say safer, since sex is never completely safe—sex will answer some of your burning questions about sex: How do I know when I’m ready? What birth control options do I have? How worried do I really need to be about STIs and how do I get tested? In the following articles, you can find out how to protect yourself, learn about what to say when you have The Talk, get the facts straight about certain sex myths, share your opinions on the Asian American stigma surrounding sex and weigh in on how we define sex today. Whether you want to find a gynecologist or counselor to consult with or dig around the web to find more information, we have a fantastic list of resources and websites to get you started.

Sex can be great, but it’s important that you’re confident in your decision to have it (or not). The less you have to worry about, the better you’ll feel and your experience will be. So take the time to understand your thoughts and feelings, protect yourself and establish open and trustful communication. And if you ever have any questions about sex or just want to talk, you can always reach us at safesex@mochimag.com.

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Courtesy Dimitris Kalogeropoylos

Thanks to social networking sites like Facebook, everything we do online is public and open to commentary. It provides an instant snapshot of our personal history—pictures from parties and vacations, status updates about our feelings or the last movie we watched, and event invitations all provide an instant answer to “what has so-and-so been doing lately?” With social networking, we are constantly and completely connected, which raises the big question: Now that Facebook has electronically enforced our relationships, does it also ruin them?

Studies have found that Facebook does create distinct downsides to relationships. A study of 308 Facebook users found that people who are prone to jealousy will have that jealousy reinforced by using the site. Imagine this scenario: You’re dating a guy, but then you break up. A few days later you’re on Facebook and there’s a picture of your ex with his new girl splattered all over your News Feed—jealously ensues.

Though you are connected to so many people, Facebook also won’t help you make new friends, per se. Several studies have found that Facebook doesn’t help form closer friendships and that people are not likely to use it to initiate new connections.

Besides personal relationships, your business and career relationships can be negatively affected as well. The same pictures from that party last week where you hooked up with the cute guy from Chemistry can be interpreted as fun by your friends, but can haunt you later if it’s seen by recruiters and potential employers. One article cited that more than half of all employers check candidates’ Facebook pages. Some colleges even use Facebook to see exactly what kind of students they are admitting before sending out letters. It’s become a new standard for deciphering personalities and forming first impressions, which can become overwhelming since your relationships can be easily affected by your online persona.

On the flip side, the exponential growth and popularity of Facebook is a result of its positive influence as well. The simplicity of reaching out to an old friend or colleague through this network shows how Facebook makes existing relationships easier to support and can also decrease the cost of maintaining them, because staying in touch is so easy. It’s like having a constantly updating Rolodex for each of your friends—if someone moves, you still have a means of getting in touch with them.

The longevity and magnitude of Facebook’s influence on relationships comes down to the reasoning behind why Facebook has succeeded—at least so far—while Friendster and MySpace (remember those?) have not. By extorting the public sphere and mapping a web of connections between people on a scale that can be at once intrusive and yet make the world more intimate, Facebook has and likely will continue to shape our relationships from here on out—whether it’s for better or worse.

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As much as many of us do not want to admit it, race and culture play a part in every relationship. The most basic definition of an interracial relationship is one in which each person belongs to a different race. Race can be defined as a social group that can be grouped together by certain distinctive physical traits. Ethnicity, however, refers to a social group and its culture, language and arts based on their history, sense of identity and geographic location. For example, being Asian is being part of a race, but being Taiwanese is an ethnicity

I have been in an interracial relationship for three years now. Nic is a white male who grew up in a predominantly African-American community and I am a Taiwanese-American female who grew up in a predominantly white community. For the most part, race has had very little impact on us. It was adapting to the other’s culture that was most difficult.

The Questions

The most important question is if the relationship makes you happy. But, you might run into people who will always ask you “what” your significant other is. I have found a more lighthearted answer: “He’s a homo sapiens.” However, their question” is usually followed by the more daunting, “What do your parents think?”

The Problems

After talking to people who have been in interracial relationships, the consensus is that the cultural differences are the hardest to handle.

A close Italian-German American friend who has been in two long-term relationships with Asian guys said, “Trying to find a happy medium [between the two cultures] is stressful, especially with those who won’t budge. For example, leaving your shoes at the front door is a cultural thing. My boyfriend was very strict about it. I would forget here and there, and it would cause conflict in our relationship.”

Since such habits can be hard for Americans to understand, I always explain, “The Asian belief is that it’s rude to bring in dirty things from the rest of the world, so I would really appreciate it if you could please take off your shoes. I don’t want to upset my parents.”

The Parents

If you’re lucky, your parents will understand that your personal happiness in a relationship should take priority over race or ethnicity. However, interracial relationships may still be a difficult concept for some families to grasp. If this is the case, break it to your parents gently. Ease into the conversation. Start off by telling them you have found someone who makes you happy and brings out the best in you. If your family is unable to accept your relationship, you will have to decide what is more important – your relationship or pleasing your parents

Recently, I talked to my boyfriend’s mom about my relationship with her son. She told me that I take care of her son, so our different backgrounds is not an issue for her. She said if I married and had children with her son, she is okay with having mixed grandchildren.

The Compromise

To make any relationship work, compromises are necessary. My father, for example, disapproves of me participating in my boyfriend’s family activities. I had to compromise by not inviting my boyfriend to every family activity. In return, my father is less vocal about my activities with Nic’s family.

All in all, the most important decision is the one you make with yourself. If you found someone who makes you feel good about yourself and brings out the best you, then race or ethnicity should fall short of your personal happiness. Being in an interracial relationship may not be easy, but if you find someone whom you genuinely care about, it is worth staying in it.

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